There's a language game where people will have to, I think it was something like they speak in gibberish. If you're the person speaking gibberish, you kind of feel like you said those words that the other person said. So there's this real combination of having a lot of agency and having no agency. In some very real way, that's sort of what you want to be doing in a negotiation too. You go in and there's stuff that really matters to you and that you want  to get your needs met.