Attachment Styles: From Avoidant to Secure

Steven describes how Mel's consistency provided new evidence, shifting him from avoidant toward a more secure style.

Play episode from 01:32:13

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Transcript

Episode notes

Steven Bartlett, the host of The Diary Of A CEO, opens up about something he rarely talks about: his relationship. He’s just announced he is engaged to be married! And his take is simple: independence isn’t the flex we think it is! If you want that dream life, you’re going to need someone to build it with!

We dive into the mental frameworks that have made Steven the success he is today and why his quitting framework is your 2026 super power.

And if you're a creator or an aspiring creator you’re going to want to listen to this! This is the perfect episode for setting your goals and intentions for your most ambitious year yet.

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Timestamps

00:00:00 Intro
00:02:26 Why Steven Never Wears Shoes 00:03:46 Handling Pressure: The Lesson Padel Taught Steven
00:07:28 Confidence Rituals That Work
00:08:40 Steven’s Mental State (Cold + Rational)
00:11:03 Why Steven Stays Emotionally Neutral
00:12:19 Making Decisions Without Certainty
00:14:49 Your Best/Worst Decision Is People (Hiring Truth)
00:16:56 The Culture Test Steven Swears By (FlightStory)
00:19:43 “Paper Walls”: The Invisible Rules Holding You Back
00:26:54 Childhood Failure Creates Adult Confidence
00:28:05 People-Pleasing Keeps You Trapped
00:30:01 Shopify Ad
00:31:23 Maggie’s First Upload (Online Ridicule)
00:32:56 Steven’s 3 Rules for Hot Smart Rich
00:36:58 Why Thinking About Death Is Liberating
00:38:25 How to Find Your Mission (Stack Small Wins)
00:44:39 Can Anyone Be a Creator?
00:45:28 The 1% Rule That Built a Global Podcast
00:49:24 Steven’s Quit Framework
00:53:50 Embarrassment Is the Price of Entry (Creators)
00:56:01 First Principles: How Steven Thinks
01:00:10 How to Build Yourself Into a Top Creator
00:58:07 Those 3 Pinned Posts Explained
01:01:19 Bilt Ad
01:02:23 Cozy Earth Ad
01:03:29 Why Those 3 Photos Are Pinned (Meaning)
01:04:40 A Voice Note From Mel
01:06:32 “Romantic Independence” Is a Mistake
01:09:33 Make Dependency Sexy Again (Relationship ROI)
01:11:50 What a Successful Relationship Actually Takes
01:14:27 Conflict Resolution That Works
01:16:00 “I Felt Like the Failure” (Steven’s Childhood)
01:17:01 Youngest Sibling Energy: Bend the World
01:20:42 The Spider & The Barrier (Breaking Paper Walls)
01:23:14 Why Advice Doesn’t Land
01:23:55 Not Knowing Early Is a Superpower
01:26:08 Rapid Fire: Last Thing You Bought
01:26:24 “WAIT… YOU’RE ENGAGED?!”
01:26:57 Why Steven Finally Chose Commitment
01:28:29 The Engagement Ring Story
01:28:58 Describe the Ring (Details)
01:30:09 Avoidant Attachment & Changing Your Pattern
01:31:53 Modern Dating: Too Many Options, Less Love 01:35:11 Fatherhood: Trusting the Next Chapter
01:37:29 How Marriage Changed Maggie
01:40:03 Love + Ambition Can Coexist
01:42:54 More Rapid Fire
01:43:19 Steven’s Favourite DOAC Episode
01:44:35 Eggs or Watermelon Forever?
01:44:52 Working With a Superfan
01:46:24 Steven’s Favourite Podcast
01:47:03 What He’d Call This Season of His Life
01:47:54 Steven’s Biggest Achievement (Explain Like You’re 10)
01:49:16 How Can Hot Smart Rich Help You Right Now