Joe Polish sits down with former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss and communication expert Jefferson Fisher to break down what actually works in high-stakes conversations—at home, in leadership, and in negotiations—without slipping into aggression or defensiveness.
Here's a glance at what you'll discover in this episode:
- Why most leaders spend 80% of their time communicating yet never learn how to do it effectively, and what separates those who connect from those who collapse under pressure.
- The myth of "finding common ground," and why trying to relate can quietly destroy empathy instead of build it.
- The counterintuitive reason sharing your own story often backfires, and what to do instead to make people feel truly heard.
- How one airplane disaster proved Chris Voss's rule that "common ground" can be the fastest way to lose trust.
- The fine line between aggressive, assertive, and passive, and how to command respect without crossing it.
- A phrase Jefferson Fisher says can help stop an argument and save a relationship (used by countless couples and CEOs alike).
- A handful of simple words that dissolve defensiveness and open the door to real resolution.
- How to turn anger into intelligence: what neuroscience and hostage negotiation reveal about why "strategic umbrage" always fails.
- The mindset that makes you unshakable in any crisis, and why c________ is stronger than confidence.
- The simple breathing trick Jefferson teaches to steady your voice and calm your nervous system before the words even start.
- The hidden ingredient of influence that outperforms charisma, and how to use it so people lean in when you speak.
- The surprising mindset shift both Chris and Jefferson say can transform every negotiation, every argument, and every relationship.
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