How Do We Create Separation?

A little girl notices that her mother has white hair in the midst of her auburn hair. And i so she asks inquisitely, how come some of your hairs are white and her mother said, well, time you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns whites. So often when we are talking about forgiveness and how we're behaving with others, we're talking about in a kind of large betrayals. But i think it's really important when we ask the question of, how are we creating separation? It's not always the the major aversions. It's the kind of chronic judgments and resentments that we can carry.