Common Issues Men Bring: Performance & Disconnection

In this episode, we’re joined by Ashley Randall, also known as Irreverent Femme—a Los Angeles–based Sex, Intimacy, and Kink Coach, Dominatrix, and erotic parfum-ist. Ashley shares how her journey into sexuality work emerged from a desire to help people shed shame, reconnect with their bodies, and access deeper intimacy and pleasure.

Ashley primarily works with cisgender, predominantly straight men, many of whom are successful yet disconnected—from their emotions, their desire, and their partners. She explains why working with a confident, sexually embodied woman can be both confronting and profoundly healing, offering men a space to drop performance and explore authenticity.

The most common issue Ashley sees is disconnection, often showing up as performance anxiety, erectile challenges, or difficulty leading and communicating sexually. Beneath it all is a longing for confidence, presence, and deeper connection. In early sessions, Ashley focuses on nervous system regulation, consent, and embodiment, gradually guiding clients toward more grounded desire, emotional intimacy, and conscious power.

We also explore Ashley’s work as a Dominatrix and how dominance—whether kinky or not—is about presence, responsibility, and attunement rather than control. She shares practical insights for men who want to be more dominant, emphasizing self-regulation, listening, and clarity.

Plus, we dive into Ashley’s erotic perfumes, which she uses as a powerful sensory and somatic tool in sessions to anchor desire, memory, and arousal.

Ashley leaves listeners with one golden reminder: your desire is not a problem—it’s information.

Learn more or work with Ashley at www.irreverentcoaching.com
Follow her on Instagram: @IrreverentLoveCoaching

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