Autonomy: owning your choices not blame

Most of us want our lives to feel calmer, clearer and more aligned. Yet so often, we hesitate, overthink or delay the changes we know would help us feel better.

This week’s guest believes that what holds us back is not a lack of motivation or confidence, but a lack of self-trust, which is the foundation that shapes everything from our habits to our relationships.

This week on, I’m joined by Dr Shadé Zahrai. Shadé is a behavioural researcher, award-winning peak performance educator and leading authority on confidence and self-doubt. In her new book, Big Trust: Rewire Self-Doubt, Find Your Confidence and Fuel Success, her message is simple: we need to stop getting in our own way, loosen the grip of self-doubt and learn how to back ourselves when it counts.

Many of Shadé’s insights are shaped by her own journey. After years in corporate roles that were filled with intense self-doubt and even physical anxiety, she found herself starting again when the pandemic hit and her work fell away overnight. Creating simple videos from home to support others became an unexpected turning point - and ultimately the foundation of the work she does today.

During our conversation, we discuss:

• Why self-trust sits at the heart of confidence, action and meaningful change, and how waiting to ‘feel ready’ keeps so many of us stuck.
• The four key attributes that make up self-trust, how our identity shapes our behaviour and why small daily choices become meaningful “proof points” of who we want to become.
• Why confidence doesn’t come first, and why self-trust, not motivation, is what allows us to take action.
• How repeatedly breaking promises to ourselves erodes our identity, and why keeping small commitments rebuilds a sense of capability and worth.
• The powerful connection between our inner narrative and our wellbeing, and how shifting our story changes the way we experience life.

Shadé believes that we are not defined by our doubts but by the choices we make when doubt appears. This episode offers a compassionate, practical guide to strengthening the trust we place in ourselves and invites us to stop outsourcing our worth to external validation. Only then can we reconnect with our core values and begin living from a place of clarity and courage.

I hope you enjoy listening.

Support the podcast and enjoy Ad-Free episodes. Try FREE for 7 days on Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/feelbetterlivemore. For other podcast platforms go to https://fblm.supercast.com.

Thanks to our sponsors:

https://www.vivobarefoot.com/livemore

https://drinkag1.com/livemore

Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/608

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.