2min chapter

227: Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 2

Your Parenting Mojo - Respectful, research-based parenting ideas to help kids thrive

notes

CHAPTER

Intro

This chapter explores the complex connection between emotions and behaviors in children, particularly focusing on how parents may misconstrue their children's emotional states. It emphasizes research on autistic children, suggesting that meltdowns are indicative of underlying stress rather than random outbursts, providing insights for more effective parental support.

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Transcript

Episode notes

Understanding Emotions: Insights from Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett

In our last conversation with Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett [Where emotions come from (and why it matters) Part 1] a couple of weeks ago we looked at her theory of where emotions originate. This has important implications for things like:

How our 'body budgets' affect our feelings
How we make meaning from our feelings so our internal experience makes sense
That we don't always understand other people's feelings very well!

The introduction to the theory plus the conversation plus the take-home messages would have made for an unwieldy episode, so I split it in half. Today we conclude the conversation with Dr. Barrett and I also offer some thoughts about things I think are really important from across the two episodes, including:

What we can do with the information our feelings give us
How long we should support children in feeling their feelings (given that they don't always mean what we think they mean!) and when we should help them move on
Some tools we can use to re-regulate in difficult moments with our kids

Taming Your Triggers Workshop Ready to break free from the cycle of triggered reactions and conflict in your parenting journey? If you want to: 😟 Be triggered less often by your child’s behavior, 😐 React from a place of compassion and empathy instead of anger and frustration, 😊 Respond to your child from a place that’s aligned with your values rather than reacting in the heat of the moment, the Taming Your Triggers workshop will help you make this shift. Join us to transform conflict into connection and reclaim peace in your parenting journey.

Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett's Books (Affiliate Links)

How Emotions are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain
Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain

Other episodes mentioned

129: The physical reasons you yell at your kids

Jump to Highlights

00:59 Introducing today’s episode and featured guests 05:01 People in chaotic or uncertain situations, like poverty or neurodivergence, face greater challenges due to the increased stress on their body budgets. 18:02 Understanding and managing personal needs as a parent, along with emotional flexibility, can lead to more effective responses to children. 23:46 Parents need to balance their own feelings with their children's by asking if their kids want empathy or help. They should remember that every interaction is a chance to teach kids how to manage their emotions. 31:07 Parents can view their empathy for their children as a sign of competence, balancing their own needs with their child's emotions. 34:22 Jen draws conclusions from Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett’s research on emotions, highlighting how parents can use this understanding to empower their children in navigating feelings and enhancing emotional literacy.

References

Barrett, L. F., Adolphs, R., Marsella, S., Martinez, A. M., & Pollak, S. D. (2019). Emotional expressions reconsidered: Challenges to inferring emotion from human facial movements. Psychological Science in the Public Interest, 20, 1–68.

Barrett, L.F. (2012). Emotions are real. Emotion 12(3), 413-429.

Barrett, L.F., Gross, J., Christensen, T.C., & Benvenuto, M. (2001). Knowing what you’re feeling and knowing what to do about it: Mapping the relation between emotion differentiation and emotion regulation. Cognition and Emotion 15(6), 713-724.

Eisenberger, N.I. (2012). The pain of social disconnection: Examining the shared neural underpinnings of physical and social pain. Nature Reviews: Neuroscience 13, 421-434.

Fischer, S. (July 2013). About Face. Boston Magazine, 68-73.

Gee, D. G., Gabard-Durnam, L., Telzer, E. H., Humphreys, K. L., Goff, B., Shapiro, M., ... & Tottenham, N. (2014). Maternal buffering of human amygdala-prefrontal circuitry during childhood but not during adolescence. Psychological Science, 25(11), 2067-2078.

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Gross, J.J., & Barrett, L.F. (2011). Emotion generation and emotion regulation: One or two depends on your point of view. Emotion Review 3(1), 8-16.

Haidt, J., & Keltner, D. (1999). Culture and facial expression: Open-ended methods find more expressions and a gradient of recognition. Cognition & Emotion, 13, 225–266.

Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., Crittenden, A.N., Mangola, S.M., Endeko, E.S., Dussault, E., Barrett, L.F., & Mesquita, B. (2023). What we can learn about emotion by talking with the Hadza. Perspectives on Psychological Science 19(1), 173-200.

Hoemann, K., Gendron, M., & Barrett, L.F. (2022). Assessing the power of words to facilitate emotion category learning. Affective Science 3, 69-80.

Hoemann, K., Khan, Z., Kamona, N., Dy, J., Barrett, L.F., & Quigley, K.S. (2020). Investigating the relationship between emotional granularity and cardiorespiratory physiological activity in daily life. Psychophysiology 58(6), e13818.

Killingsworth, M.A., & Gilbert, D.T. (2010). A wandering mind is an unhappy mind. Science 330, 932.

Lindquist, K.A., Wager, T.D., Kober, H., Bliss-Moreau, E., & Barrett, L.F. (2012). The brain basis of emotion: A meta-analytic review. Behavioral and Brain Sciences 35(3), 121-143.

Pratt, M., Singer, M., Kanat-Maymon, Y., & Feldman, R. (2015). Infant negative reactivity defines the effects of parent–child synchrony on physiological and behavioral regulation of social stress. Development and Psychopathology, 27(4pt1), 1191-1204.

Theriault, J.E., Young, L., & Barrett, L.F. (2021). Situating and extending the sense of should: Reply to comments on “The sense of should: A biologically-based framework for modeling social pressure.” Physics of Life Reviews 37, 10-16.

Theriault, J.E., Young, L., & Barrett, L.F. (2021). The sense of should: A biologically-based framework for modeling social pressure. Physics of Life Reviews 36, 100-136.

Tugade, M.M., Fredrickson, B.L., & Barrett, L.F. (2004). Psychological resilience and positive emotional granularity: Examining the benefits of positive emotions on coping and health. Journal of Personality 72(6), 1161-1190.

Waters, S. F., West, T. V., & Mendes, W. B. (2014). Stress contagion: Physiological covariation between mothers and infants. Psychological science, 25(4), 934-942.

Wilson-Mendenhall, C.D., Barrett, L.F., & Barsalou, L.W. (2013). Situating emotional experience. Frontiers in Human Neuroscience 7, 764.

Xu, F., Cote, M., & Baker, A. (2005). Labeling guides object individuation in 12 month old infants. Psychological Science 16(5), 372-377.