How Does Formality Often Cause Anxiety?

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When there's a switch in formality in someone's digital body language, it can often cause high levels of anxiety. If you see a consistent pattern for three or four times, no one to pick up the phone and have a candid discussion. And sometimes you'll realize that there may something you need to discuss that can't be read because you don't have traditional body language. Remember, people are busy. Things are rapidly changing. But assume good intent.

Erica Dhawan: Digital Body Language Erica Dhawan is a globally recognized leadership expert and keynote speaker helping organizations and leaders innovate faster and further, together. Named as one of the top management professionals around the world by Global Gurus, she is the founder and CEO of Cotential, a company that has helped leaders and teams leverage twenty-first-century collaboration skills. Erica’s writing has appeared in dozens of publications, including Fast Company and Harvard Business Review. She is the co-author of Get Big Things Done* and the author of the new book, Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance*. In this conversation, Erica and I highlight common missteps that cause leaders to generate unnecessary anxiety from their communication. We discuss how brevity, response time, passive aggressiveness, and formality can work against us — and what we can adjust on our own behaviors to do better. Key Points In a way, all of us are now immigrants, processing more interactions in a digital world that is less familiar. Excessive brevity may save a few keystrokes or seconds in the moment, but can generate lots of extra work for the team and organization. Reduce anxiety by being explicit about our expectations on response time and teaching others what to expect from us. Changing tone and formality without explanation can be jarring. Seemingly unimportant choices like who we list first on emails can generate assumptions from those we’re communicating to. Resources Mentioned Digital Body Language: How to Build Trust and Connection, No Matter the Distance* by Erica Dhawan The Digital Body Language Expert Course Related Episodes How to Balance Care and Accountability When Leading Remotely, with Jonathan Raymond (episode 464) How to Run an Online Meeting, with Bonni Stachowiak (episode 472) How to Be Present, with Dave Crenshaw (episode 511) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.