Gilt can tell us when our actions are really misallined with our values and our expectations. I had this vision at 20 that i wanted to have my own business, i wanted to write books, and that that would give me the flexibility and freedom to have a great career and also have a family. When i began to own that, and really pelled back the layers meant saying, so what harm do you think you're doing to your son or to your family? And i was like, actually, when i'm gone, especially when my mother decides she was going to come over and help, and my son isn't even missing me. He's like, all grandmamy
If you've done something wrong, feelings of guilt can prompt us to apologise, make amends and change our ways. But many of us also feel guilty with little cause. We may think we're bad parents, lazy or incompetent workers, or unreliable partners - all without much evidence that we've done anything wrong.
Life coach Valorie Burton (author of Let Go Of The Guilt: Stop Beating Yourself Up And Take Back Your Joy) felt guilty for combining her career with raising a family - until she started examining the values and assumptions that underpinned these draining feelings. She shares the strategies she developed to separate 'true' guilt from 'false' guilt with Dr Laurie Santos.
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