Setting Limits That Stick: The SLIC Method for Effective Boundaries
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
Why Limits Must Include Consequences
Bill explains the SLIC two-and-a-half step method: set limits, impose consequences, and sometimes add an empathy (EAR) statement to motivate change.
Setting Limits That Stick: The SLIC Approach to Conflict Resolution
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter discuss SLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 Steps, co-authored by Bill Eddy and Ekaterina Ricci. This episode explores how their practical SLIC method (Setting Limits, Imposing Consequences) helps parents establish and maintain effective boundaries with children of all ages.
Understanding the SLIC Method
The SLIC approach combines three key elements: setting clear limits, imposing appropriate consequences, and using strategic empathy statements. This 2 1/2 step method provides a structured framework for parents facing boundary-testing behaviors, whether dealing with toddlers learning self-control or teenagers pushing social limits. Bill's extensive background in child development, education, and family therapy informs practical applications across various parenting scenarios.
Questions Answered in This Episode
- What are the five key questions to ask when imposing consequences?
- How should consequences vary by age and development stage?
- When and how should parents collaborate with teachers on limits?
- What makes limit-setting effective in divorced family situations?
- How can parents overcome fear of setting firm boundaries?
Key Takeaways
- Proportional consequences maintain effectiveness and teach responsibility
- Early limit-setting creates foundation for teenage boundary acceptance
- Parent-teacher-community alignment strengthens limit enforcement
- Both positive and negative consequences play essential roles
- The SLIC method works across various family structures and situations
This episode equips parents, teachers, and caregivers with practical tools from the SLIC method to establish consistent, effective boundaries while maintaining strong relationships with children. Listeners learn how to implement this structured approach across different ages and challenging situations.
Additional Resources
Expert Publications
- New Book available for pre-order: SLIC Solutions for Conflict: Setting Limits & Imposing Consequences in 2 1/2 Steps
Professional Development
- Invite us to speak at your organization
- New Ways Training (work, mediation, divorce)
- Conflict Influencer Class (for personal life)
Connect With Us
- Visit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com
- Submit questions for Bill and Megan
- Browse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formats
- Find these show notes and all past episode notes on our website
Watch this episode on YouTube!
Important Notice
Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (00:46) - Setting Limits
- (01:22) - Bill’s New Book
- (04:35) - Young Children
- (10:29) - Do Consequences Work For Everyone?
- (14:42) - Five Questions
- (16:46) - Teacher and Student
- (20:36) - Overcoming Fear of Setting Limits
- (22:53) - Older Kids
- (31:58) - Wrap Up
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