Zeke & Terri Mead: Near Divorce - How We Accidentally Saved Our 25-Year Marriage & Reclaimed Our Sexuality | #169
The Sex Reimagined Podcast
Dealing with Avoidance and Hard Conversations
Zeke admits avoidance tendencies; they emphasize facing issues early, building trust, and practicing generosity with partners.
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Picture this: January 2021, middle of the pandemic. After 25 years of marriage, Zeke and Terri finally admitted what everyone already knew. They weren't happy. They weren't good for each other anymore. Their kids responded to the divorce announcement with "it's about time." For ten years, they'd danced around separation, taking turns being the one who wasn't ready to let go. During their first week living separately (Zeke had moved into their son's bedroom), Terri went through her own emotional journey. By Saturday, driving to tennis with gorgeous weather and great music, she felt ready for whatever came next. One thing she definitely wanted was really good sex. She wanted to reclaim who she'd been before marriage, rediscover her midlife body, understand what she actually enjoyed. That evening, she made a proposition that changed everything: "What do you think about having sex? I want to reclaim who I am. I want to experiment." What happened was the beginning of what Terri calls "sexploration." With no pressure, no obligation, no expectations about their relationship's future, they started playing. Terri researched toys, techniques, videos. She centered her own pleasure instead of everyone else's needs. They became vulnerable with each other. They communicated about everything. Most surprisingly, they started falling back in love, but this time consciously, intentionally, with completely different ground rules.
KEY INSIGHTS
- Weekly relationship check-ins prevent small issues from becoming marriage-ending problems using five essential questions
- Sexual exploration without obligation transforms intimacy when women take responsibility for their own pleasure
- Daily recommitment builds security while honoring choice, with morning "I love you" commitments replacing trapped feelings
- Divorcing your old relationship to consciously create a new one works better than trying to fix what's br
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