If one of your really important values is not getting satisfied, it tends to pull more strongly. It can become almost like overpowering because it's sort of missing. And I think that's often what we miss. We aren't conscious of the value conflict that's coming up. So once you figure out the values for that person that are at stake, then you could say, okay, so really, this choice you're making is a tradeoff between value A and B versus value C and D.

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