How to Know If You're Actually Having an Orgasm
Sex With Emily
Why Jackhammer Sex Often Fails Vulva Owners
Emily answers a listener about jackhammering, offering timing, tone, turf communication and compromise strategies.
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Episode Description
In this Sex with Emily episode, Dr. Emily breaks down what's really happening in your body during orgasm—and why you might not even know if you've had one.
The physical signs that prove you're orgasming—even when there's no "explosive release" moment, and why your experience might look nothing like what you've been told to expect.
That partner who goes full jackhammer the entire time: the exact conversation framework to redirect them without crushing their ego—and why most people need those fast strokes eventually, just not the whole damn time.
A listener whose new partner believes orgasms damage your mental health and relationships—what this anti-climax philosophy gets right about connection, and what the science actually says about orgasms strengthening your bond.
The guilt trap of needing fantasy to finish during oral: why your imagination became your default pathway to orgasm, and the five-senses technique that retrains your brain to stay present with your partner instead.
How to find your G-area (because it's not a "spot"): the exact finger motion, positions, and toy shapes that actually work—and why this spongy tissue is just your internal clitoris showing up to the party.
Plus: what squirting really is, why dry orgasms happen, and the neural pathway secret that means you can learn to orgasm in completely different ways than you do now.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction
2:25 - The Science of Orgasm: What Actually Happens in Your Body
4:28 - The Four Stages of Orgasm Explained
6:39 - Clitoral Orgasms: Understanding Your 12,000 Nerve Endings
10:33 - G-Area Orgasms: Finding Your Internal Pleasure Zone (Plus Mirror Technique)
14:26 - Squirting & Female Ejaculation: Separating Facts from Fiction
17:46 - Dry Orgasms & Semen Retention for Penis Owners
19:43 - Hands-Free Orgasms: Tantric Breathing & Orgasmic Meditation
22:42 - The Jackhammer Problem: Why Fast Penetration Doesn't Work for Most Vulva Owners
29:35 - Fantasy vs. Presence: How to Stay in the Moment During Sex
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