Handling high-conflict people: BIFF

Is your communication style a red flag?

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It’s our favourite time of the month and Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk the talk (and walk the walk) about healthy communication.

The impact of our learning history (colloquially known as “baggage”) gets a heavy feature in this episode, as Ryan, Josh and Bridge unpack their communication styles, and how this has impacted their intimate relationships.

Dr Emily talks us through why the real challenge of communicating is not our use of language, but rather regulation of emotion, and gifts us a plethora of acronyms to practice at home the skills of effective communication.

Dr Em, always a pleasure.

Chapters:
0:00 – Communication, conflict, and Hannah Ferguson 
10:19 – How do you (mostly?) communicate?
14:57 – The impact of our learning history
22:10 – Interpersonal Effectiveness
27:41 – Practicing getting it wrong to get it right
31:59 – Do opposites attract?
34:44 – Respond rather than react
47:51 – We all love an acronym
1:01:45 – Dealing with unreasonable people
1:15:49 – Breaking patterns

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Hannah Ferguson - Outspoken But Not Broken - https://bit.ly/4ilr2i2
• Dr Emily - Truth vs Harmony - https://bit.ly/481Xfri

💻Things to do:

• Complete the official Thomas-Kilmann Instrument communication styles quiz - https://bit.ly/4rowC7m
• Complete the free Thomas-Kilmann Instrument inspired communication styles quiz - https://bit.ly/4iygpbR

📺 Things to watch:

• The Rehearsal - https://bit.ly/4ong1hL

📖 Things to read:

• Terry Real’s catalogue - https://bit.ly/4p25w4m
• DBT Training Skills Manual, by Marsha M. Linehan - https://bit.ly/4ioNXcs
• BIFF, by Bill Eddy - https://bit.ly/4ojowdG

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The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

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