"There's a hunger for the edge. We want to feel the titillation of being on, like, the precipice of what we're most terrified of," she says. "i've been dancing with this force in me that's destroy, destroy me, destroy myself." The book is published by Simon & Schuster at £16.99 (with free shipping)
One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine.