Ah, that's good. I love this because John teaches that leaders initiate. Leaders don't sit back and wait for others to approach them. You can be an approacher as well. And so when you're the one to break the ice, you not only give permission for others to approach you, but you make social interactions less daunting by you being the one that starts the conversation. So if you're sitting back, I don't feel approachable because no one's approaching me, then try

going out to the people. Don't make the people come to you. That's good. Find common ground. This makes you extremely approachable. It's like saying, Hey, we're on, we're on the same team. I'll never forget a couple of years ago. Um, I was leading an event where we had an activity that we marketed that it was with the Navy SEALs and that we were going to do some activities with them. Now the group that I had out there, about 120 people, not many of them should ever think about trying to train with the Navy SEALs. So the night before, John pulls me aside and he said, Chris, I want to coach you on a couple of things. He's like, man, give it to me, right? Let's talk about it. He goes, so tomorrow, I feel like there are going to be people in the room that are very uneasy and we may not get the participation we want because they may feel like it's only them. They may not express their concerns or frustrations. And so here's what I want you to do. And he coached me and it was awesome. He's like, the first thing I want you to do is get up there and go, Hey, how many of you are concerned about what we might do tomorrow? Because I know I am and immediately get on the same ground with them. And it alleviated a lot of tension in the room. And all of a sudden, after I did my little spiel for a little while and talked through what we were going to be doing, it made me very approachable when I came off the stage and everybody came up and said, man, thanks for doing that. What do you think about this? Or, hey, I'm struggling with this right now with this health issue. What do you think about? And all of a sudden it opened up the dialogue because I immediately went up there. And this is pure John communicator coaching me. He's like, yeah, man, go up there and just put everybody at ease and get on common ground and say, yeah, look at this. I'm not getting out there with the Navy SEALs either. It was a great, I'll never forget. It was a great coaching moment, but you got to find common ground. And when you do that, shared interest, histories, values, whatever it might be, then you are going to be able to connect with them. You're going to be approachable. John has another thing around, the law of common ground is around, hey, find that 1% and go 100% in on that. There's got to be 1% of something that's common between you and everybody. And whatever that is, then go 100% in on that, at least initially, and there'll be a great connection between the two of y'all. That's a great story.

I was thinking as you're talking, you're talking about common ground, but you're also, this is not on my list of how to be approachable is being more vulnerable. Yeah, that's good. And I'm just, as you're talking about, you were being vulnerable about how many of you feel this and how many of you feel that, that, wow. And John's so good at this too. He says, are people near you saying, so what, or me too? And if you, if you're communicating with people and they just roll their eyes, so what, you're like, you're perfect. You got it all together. I'm the only one that's feeling, you know, fat out of shape with the Navy SEALs telling me, let's go run in the sand. Uh, no, uh, me too. So you, you, by being vulnerable, you, you show that authenticity that makes people, it's very attractive. People want to be near you because they say, Oh yeah, me too. I can, I relate to that. So that's good. The last one I had was, uh, adopt to an, everyone is interesting policy is that every person in the universe, uh, has unique experiences, perspectives and knowledge. Uh, there's so much you can learn from other people and actually you can learn something from every person. And one of my favorite, all this quote from Dale Carnegie changed everything for me because I was renowned for trying to be the most interesting man in the world. You know, people wanted to talk about my travel. They wanted to talk about what countries I've been to. They wanted to talk about it. And I loved it. And I loved being interesting. And then Dale Carnegie taught me in the How to Win Friends and Influence People to, well, the quote actually says you can win more friends in two weeks by being interested in them than you can in two years by trying to get them interested in you. That's good. My little catchphrase for that was, Perry, be interested, not interesting. Yeah. And it's hard, but if you want to be approachable when you're with people, stop trying to be interesting. Yeah. Because if you're the boss, they want to, Hey boss, when did you do this? And you'll say Thursday, how about you? And you turn it back as quickly as possible to them. So now I make it like a sport of you, you might throw me a question, but I'm not going to go on. Like I want to trust me. I want to be interesting, but I need to be interested in you. And the more people feel like they're interesting to you, the more they're drawn to you. And I

think what you're hearing Perry say is that he's learned this behavior with the right motive on why he's doing it. Motive matters. Right. He's not doing it to increase their influence with them. So that down the road, right. Yeah. It's like, no, no, no. I mean, I care about people. I want to add value to people. And so, um, the motive is pure and all that we're talking about here so that you are more approachable. As I wrap up, I want to share two things in regards to a way that this has challenged me again, to think about being approachable with all the things that go on in your life and my life and as busy as we are and technology and schedules and all kinds of stuff. The old phrase used to be management by walking around, right? MBWA, right? Like, so as leaders, the team, are you doing that? Are you, are you walking around and are you doing some of the things that Perry laid out here for us with your body language, with the questions, with all those things. If you're going to do it by walking around, making sure that you are intentionally doing it for the right reason, with the right motive and doing it. The other thing that you hear John say a ton, and this is along the same lines, is to walk slowly through the crowd. I get focused. I got an agenda and I'm moving and especially at events or whatnot. And I will just walk very quickly. And to Perry's point earlier, sometimes with my head down right through a crowd and miss so many opportunities. And I had a peer and a friend of mine call me out one time and it, it really shook me because he's like, Hey, you okay? Like I saw you the other day at this event and i saw you three times walk through the foyer and not once slow down to talk to anybody you're on your phone you had your head down whatever and i was like hmm yeah we're in the people business and i just walked by my business like i just walked by everything that I'm, I care, I care about and care for. And so, yeah, do the management by walking around, but also walk slowly through the crowd. And it'll be amazing, especially if you're smiling, how approachable you'll be. I'm going to tip though. There are times I'm, I'm thinking about we're

at, we do a lot of events around event. There's a lot of people and we both were, if on stage, people know you, and they want to say hi, and you want to be approachable. I want people to speak. But you're trying to get through. You can't stop and talk to 20 people. Tips for, you know, still acknowledging, I think.

Is that the right, you know, what do you think about that? Yeah, that's a good question. I do it a

lot. Instead of heads down and ignoring, I'll move fast, but to look up and have my head up, but I can't talk now. Yes,

that's exactly right. I will focus on keeping my head up, smiling, making eye contact, waving, you know, like, hey, look forward to connecting up. Do you do that? Put your fingers up. Call me. No, I don't do that. Oh, gosh, if you guys see us on YouTube, you'd be like, those are two old guys. What's going on? Call me. But those that I do actually then stop for, they stop me, they want to talk. You know, I'm very honest, right? Like, so excited to see you. And I am. I want to connect with you. I do. I got to run right now. And I just, I'm, I just, you know, I'm honest in a way that is very, not direct, not vulnerable, but it's just very honest, right? Like, and they get it. They understand. They know what's going on. They understand. It's much better to do that. Smile, acknowledge, keep walking, you know, fast. Hey, you know, I'd love to connect with you later. If they do stop you, have that conversation. Just be very honest. Say, man, it's so good to see you. I got to run to this meeting. If I get time, I'd love to come back and connect with you you or whatever let's connect on a different day i think that is still showing that you're approachable and they know that you have an agenda i think if you do it over and over and over and over again then it becomes a pattern and they're like this is weird so maybe then you even plan some strategic time where you may have some extra time and then you're just wandering there, smiling and walking slowly and being

able to stop.