How to Separate Content From Process in Relationships

4min Snip

00:00

Play full episode

Summary

Transcript

Episode notes

When everything gets entangled together, it's very, very hard to move through a disagreement because each person can just focus on the side of the conversation that is most useful for them. The first example that we explored got to separate in content from process. And then once that bucket has been dealt with, you can move on to bucket number two.

All of our relationships include some conflict, the big question is how skillfully we handle that conflict when it appears. Dr. Rick Hanson joins Forrest to walk us through some effective ways to deal with common forms of interpersonal conflict. They explore the four common disagreements, the subtle ways power shows up in our relationships, separating content from process, and how to stand your ground.

Watch the Episode: Prefer watching video? You can watch this episode on YouTube.

New Online Course From Dr. Rick: Learn the tools you need to build strong, healthy, fulfilling relationships of all kinds in Rick's new Strong Heart Relationship Series. The program begins on February 18th, and all the teaching is recorded so you can watch on your own schedule. Visit RickHanson.net/strongheart to learn more and get 20% with coupon code BeingWell20.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction and Rick’s new book

1:25: Common conflicts Rick has seen in couples counseling

3:40: The importance of the way something is said

8:10: Disentangling tone from content

9:45: Distinguishing intent from impact

12:10: The unconscious functions of conflict

17:50: Navigating differences in temperament, and cultivating enthusiasm

25:05: Power tripping, control, and misinterpretation

29:50: Primate politics, escalation, and identifying what’s really happening

35:45: Trust

39:15: How much are we willing to tolerate?

41:10: Dealing with entitlement, and when to push back

43:40: Peoples’ capacity to change, balancing harmony and truth

46:10: Focus on communicating for yourself

49:05: Recap

Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

Sponsors:

This podcast is sponsored by BetterHelp, and you can join over a million people using the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

Want to sleep better? Try the Calm app! Visit calm.com/beingwell for 40% off a premium subscription.

Connect with the show:

Subscribe on iTunes

Follow Forrest on YouTube

Follow Forrest on Instagram

Follow Rick on Facebook

Follow Forrest on Facebook

Visit Forrest's website

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices