When you find yourself in a situation, let's say i'mig about to receive feedback front from you as a colleague, one of the things that's really anchoring is an anchor. So there's a way in which, rather than, in some ways, totally stripping away emotion and trying to make the fee back fully cognitive, what usually is more resonant and connecting is this, can we then connect at that place? Just then, you might say, old vilens, i didn't know them. We worke together a lot. To me, i wasn't, you know, i had no idea that this might be higher stakes for you. And it gives you more choices
Being a better listener has a lot to do with silence, says Collins Dobbs, a lecturer in management at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “A lot of people are uncomfortable with the smallest modicum of silence, but learning often happens when we create distance for useful reflection.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Dobbs talks with host Matt Abrahams about the importance of “space, pace, and grace” when you’re receiving others’ feedback and handling the emotions that come out during tough discussions.
“There’s often a lot more focus on the skill set on delivering emotion than receiving emotion, but if the receiver of emotion can put themselves in a place of curiosity, agency, and openness. . . . opens up a whole new world of possibilities.”
Dobbs is an executive coach and teaches several courses, including Interpersonal Dynamics, and Leadership Labs.
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