#88 - Chasing hot and cold behavior, tolerating inconsistency & trying to change emotional unavailability doesn’t sound attractive, so why the F is it attractive to some of us? Does the truth lie within our nervous system? Sarah Murphy, biology of trauma expert, would say yes and that someone with a dysregulated nervous system, who is wired for a high baseline of stress, will find stable relationships and people *boring* and will search for a chemical cocktail of excitement from people who are just not quite right for them.
The pair get into:
- How attraction ties back to our nervous system
- Why we keep attracting the same types of people repeatedly
- Why we search for a highs through romantic love and romantic drama
- Why stable relationships feel so boring to some of us
- Why Mr. Nice Guy, or Mr. Nice Girl can feel so uncomfortable too
- Why the spark disappears as the relationship progresses
- The biology of the ick
- ‘Love addiction’ and whether being addicted to someone is the same as being addicted to a drug
- The biochemical drivers of cheating
Louise also shares her experience of how her ex reaching out to her after two years impacted her on a VERY interesting biochemical level.
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