When a situation would arise where you did nothing, i could feel in my body how much i didn't trust. It was like my mind automatically goes to the worst case scenario. And that was a pretty consistent theme leading up to the ceremony. I don't even think at that point you realized that your global mistrust of the masculine and yourglobal mistrust of love was being projected on to me specifically.
One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine.