Belonging, First-Year Programs, and the Long Game

In this episode of The Self-Driven Child Podcast, I sit down once again with my good friend and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo. You probably know Jeff from his book Who Gets In and Why, which cracked open the mysterious college admissions process. But now, he’s back with a powerful new guide, Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You.

We explore the realities behind the college admissions frenzy—the pressures, the myths, and the real indicators of student success. Jeff and I dive deep into why so many students and families narrow their college lists too soon, how prestige bias and community pressure shape decision-making, and what really matters when it comes to finding the best college fit. Whether you're a parent, student, educator, or just curious about higher education, this episode is a roadmap to cutting through the noise and focusing on what will actually help kids thrive.

Episode Highlights:

[1:55] - Welcoming back Jeff Selingo and his new book Dream School
[3:41] - Unpacking the narrative arc from elite admissions to finding fit
[5:27] - Why students and parents fixate on prestige and how that narrows options
[7:40] - Grade inflation and the overconfidence trap
[10:44] - Why balanced college lists matter more than ever
[13:49] - Conformist bias and how schools like Archer are challenging the status quo
[16:38] - Misconceptions around adding more "backup" schools
[18:21] - Is college worth it? A nuanced look at ROI and student outcomes
[23:06] - Why regional job markets matter more than college name
[26:45] - The value of being a "big fish" at a smaller school
[30:56] - Faculty incentives, mentorship, and why engagement matters
[34:50] - Hands-on learning and mentors as keys to student success
[37:09] - How to spot signs of strong faculty engagement on campus visits
[41:23] - Belonging uncertainty and how it affects student retention
[45:47] - First-year programming that fosters connection and success
[46:59] - Extracurriculars as a path to discovery, not just admissions
[49:59] - Bringing joy back to the college search
[51:55] - Finite vs. infinite games and redefining what college is really about

Links & Resources:

·         Jeff Selingo's new book: Dream School: Finding the College That’s Right for You

·         College Scorecard: https://collegescorecard.ed.gov 

·         National Survey of Student Engagement (NSSE): https://nsse.indiana.edu 

·         The Craziest Year Ever in College Admission with Jeff Selingo: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-craziest-year-ever-in-college-admission-with/id1676859533?i=1000650463806 

·         Who Gets In and Why with Jeff Selingo: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/who-gets-in-and-why-with-jeff-selingo/id1676859533?i=1000613195766 

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If you have a high school aged student and would like to talk about putting a tutoring or college plan together, reach out to Ned's company, PrepMatters at www.prepmatters.com