Watching fetish torture footage and confronting trauma

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Celibacy, kink, breathwork orgasms, and deep trauma healing—Kelly Jean shares how she’s reclaiming her body, her boundaries, and her erotic self.

🔗 KELLY JEAN LINKS | rosemarysoul.com / substack / @kellyjeanslucky

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📈 STATS | 47 pansexual woman, she/her pronouns, neurodivergent, single, leans non-monogamous, performance artist, sound healer, singer, musician, breathwork and meditation teacher, and writer, former sex worker, a survivor who lives with complex PTSD, into: creating spaces where people can feel safe enough to soften, to feel, and to heal, and she’s currently writing a memoir and sharing openly on Substack about sex work, kink, addiction, domestic violence, suicide, mental illness, recovery, and radical honesty. 

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 Kelly Jean’s return and why she’s focusing on self-connection

04:58 Ending a monogamous relationship, choosing celibacy, and rediscovering herself

10:26 A surprise kinky hookup and finding joy without shame

14:05 Felt-sense listening, boundaries, and unmasking in relationships

19:10 Dropping personas, burnout from masking, and reclaiming authenticity

23:28 What celibacy meant to her, hysterectomy grief, and hormonal shifts

28:02 Kundalini, breathwork, and how trauma moves out of the body

32:36 Breath-powered self-pleasure, emotional orgasms, and healing

37:14 Perimenopause, intuition versus trauma triggers, and body wisdom

42:20 Somatic healing, Kundalini yoga, and nervous system rewiring

47:04 Complex PTSD, dissociation, and starting to write her memoir

52:13 Watching her own fetish torture footage and confronting buried trauma

57:20 Fugue states, captivity trauma, and long-term psychological impact

01:03:17 Survival, self-worth, and making meaning from devastating experiences

01:07:00 Writing the memoir, Substack, and finally being believed by her family

01:15:08 BDSM, bondage, and discovering submission as a healing portal

01:22:29 Non-monogamy, lovers, and building relationships that honor her truth

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🤩 TOPICS | Abortion history, addiction recovery, adult fetish filming, anal play, ancestral trauma release, attachment avoidance, autoimmune disorders, breath retention exercises, breath of fire, breath-led orgasm, breathing techniques for trauma, Buddhist meditation, cage torture scenes, celibacy practices, clit suction vibrator, complex PTSD, consensual BDSM, conscious kink, crystal dildo breakage, cuckoo states, deep submission, dissociation symptoms, dominatrix career, DMT healing work, emotional flashbacks, endometriosis, erotic breath control, erotic memoir writing, face-to-face fetish performance, female-led domination, felt-sense tracking, fibroid tumors, forced helplessness trauma, gaslighting in abuse, genital numbness after surgery, grief after hysterectomy, heart-opening psychedelics, hormone dysregulation, hysterectomy recovery, impact play, incest trauma recovery, kundalini yoga, loss of fertility grief, masked identity, masturbation without penetration, menopause emotional shifts, mouth breathing practices, multiple orgasms, nervous system regulation, non-monogamy identity, orgasmic crying, parasympathetic activation, perimenopause changes, power exchange dynamics, psychedelic-assisted therapy, recovery from sex addiction, Reddit trauma processing, rope bondage, self-pleasure rituals, sexual dissociation, sexual shame healing, somatic experiencing, submissive desire, tantric breathing, trauma-bonded relationships, trauma-informed kink, vibrational stimulation, Wim Hof method

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