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Episode Description:
What if the very thing weâve been striving for as parentsâobedienceâwasnât actually a virtue? What if, instead of making our kids good, it made them vulnerable?
In this episode, we take a hard look at the dangers of unquestioning compliance. We start at the Nuremberg Trials, where Nazi officials defended their crimes with four chilling words: I was just following orders. We revisit the infamous Milgram experiment, where 65% of ordinary people delivered what they believed to be fatal electric shocksâjust because an authority figure told them to.
Then, we bring it home.
How does this obsession with obedience play out in our parenting?
With the help of Alfie Kohnârenowned author and parenting expertâwe examine why traditional parenting methods prioritize compliance, why that might be a problem, and what we can do instead. We break down research showing that demanding obedience undermines empathy, critical thinking, and moral integrity.
By the end of this episode, youâll learn:
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Why most parents unknowingly work against their long-term parenting goals
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How punishment and rewards both create conditional loveâand what to do instead
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The real-world dangers of raising kids to obey without question
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What research-backed strategies actually help kids become ethical, independent, and strong
Because one day, we wonât be the authority in their lives anymore. And the only voice left⌠will be their own.
Chapters & Key Moments:
đš (00:10) The Chilling History of Obedience â From Nuremberg to Milgram: How history warns us about blind compliance
đš (07:00) The Parentâs Dilemma â Why parents say they want independent, critical thinkers⌠but demand obedience
đš (12:45) The Cost of Compliance â What happens when we condition kids to follow orders at all costs
đš (18:10) Unconditional Parenting with Alfie Kohn â A deep dive into parenting beyond punishment and rewards
đš (26:40) The Real Goal of Parenting â How to raise kids who think for themselves, challenge injustice, and make good choices
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