Parents need to set clear expectations along the way, but also think about the tone in which you're communicating those messages. A healthy distance is when you can care very much about how they are and offer help and guidance - but don't own every single thing that they do. It's sort of like picture how loving you can be with your niece or nephew or your best friends kid,. You don't feel obligated to tell them precisely what to do all the time...that's the healthy psychological distance i think we're going for as parents.
“Communication is such a delicate dance and kids need to emerge from childhood having practiced,” says Julie Lythcott-Haims, former associate vice provost of undergraduate education Stanford University.
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, lecturer and podcast host Matt Abrahams sits down with Lythcott-Haims to discuss her new book, Your Turn: How to be an Adult, and ideas on how to communicate with young people so they feel empowered to take on the various (and often intimidating) duties of adulthood.
“Responsibility isn’t a bad thing,” she says. “Responsibility is actually an amazing thing. And I think we have to do a better job of narrating that truth.”
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