
88 - Why healthy relationships feel boring
Healing Honeys (formerly OPENHOUSE with Louise Rumball)
The 'Ick' and Attachment Styles
Exploring the phenomenon of feeling the 'ick' in relationships and how it relates to attachment styles and nervous system regulation.
Chasing hot and cold behavior, tolerating inconsistency & trying to change emotional unavailability doesn’t sound attractive, so why the F is it attractive to some of us? Does the truth lie within our nervous system? Sarah Murphy, biology of trauma expert, would say yes and that someone with a dysregulated nervous system, who is wired for a high baseline of stress, will find stable relationships and people *boring* and will search for a chemical cocktail of excitement from people who are just not quite right for them.
The pair get into:
- How attraction ties back to our nervous system
- Why we keep attracting the same types of people repeatedly
- Why we search for a highs through romantic love and romantic drama
- Why stable relationships feel so boring to some of us
- Why Mr. Nice Guy, or Mr. Nice Girl can feel so uncomfortable too
- Why the spark disappears as the relationship progresses
- The biology of the ick
- ‘Love addiction’ and whether being addicted to someone is the same as being addicted to a drug
- The biochemical drivers of cheating
Louise also shares her experience of how her ex reaching out to her after two years impacted her on a VERY interesting biochemical level.
Real talk, honest conversations, and stories that make you think—welcome to The Healing Honeys. Hit play and let’s get into it.
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