What Is Hard for Me?

I would rather have her here with me in any way shape or form than have the gifts that came from her death, no question about it. They are not worth the loss that i still process six thousand times every single day. What is really truly hard in life verse is what requires effort. Hard for me was losing a parent. So habits not hard. It's perspective. Does it take effort? does it take consistency? Does it take discipline? Sure. But let's when we feel something is hard, what does hard mean?