Before she became a manager, it was so much easier to just lean into being a conflict of order as opposed to a seeker. One of the things you have to watch out for is it can feel like bulldozing, especially to avoiders. And if you have an avoider who's really genuinely afraid of conflict because they think it's antithetical to having positive relationships, we should challenge them. Sometimes letting the conversation or the conflict go is the right thing to do.
People management consists of a fair amount of mediation and diplomacy, and you can’t expect to get the hang of it right away. You’re in the middle of a lot now. Initiating difficult conversations, and then getting all the way through them, takes planning and practice (and sometimes even a breather). Holding tension takes restraint.
Amy B and Kelsey interview Amy G about the types of conflict that new managers should expect to handle, as well as options for responding. They talk through real experiences and common scenarios. Like that time Kelsey needed to tell a direct report they were falling short of her expectations (but didn’t end up saying anything). Or that time Amy G started reporting to a friend. They also give guidance for intervening or not when team members are arguing and for discreetly clueing your group in about the office politics going on.
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