The book is about inching toward freedom. One of the most reliable ways to step off this kind of self esteem roller coaster is through safe, deep, honest social connection with other people. This can be boiled down into a phrase that i use in my clinical work, alloted people find useful - make a connection, not an impression. When we relax around this stuff more, we're able to have more safe social connection. So there's actually a kind of virtuous cycle that can pull us out of this.

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