We often are afraid to ask what we consider personal questions because we think it's gonna upset other people. It turns out that research suggests that people I actually are not put off by what most people think of as personal questions. So you can ask more intimate questions than you imagine. Take more seriously those fleeting interactions that you often just think of as a toss away Those are important.
“The self is incompatible with freedom, the way most people understand it, because the self is a constraint,” says social psychologist and professor of organizational behavior Brian Lowery. “The ‘you’ you’re talking about is actually the relationships you have, the social interactions you have and the cultural context you exist in."
In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lowery sits down with podcast host and lecturer in strategic communications Matt Abrahams to talk about his new book, Selfless: The Social Creation of You. Lowery argues that there is no essential “self” — our selves are creations of those we interact with — exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be. He also shares research on how asking deeply personal questions can be a tool for deepening relationships.
Brian Lowery is the co-director of the Stanford Institute on Race and the host of the podcast, Know What You See.
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