Anxious and avoidant is not a very compatible style. The more of these that you have, if I'm not mistaken, like the more likely it is that your relationship is going to be successful and long term. My conflict style is probably like volatile in this list that we're about to talk about. But yeah, my boyfriend and I are not compatible on this one. It took me a really long time to accept that, oh, you can't change them. Even if they want to change, it's going to be like a lifelong commitment to that.
Understanding the difference between chemistry and compatibility can help us understand that just because it feels good, doesn’t mean it will be good. We confuse chemistry with compatibility, intensity with intimacy and attention with intention, without every talking about the foundations of what compatibility actually means.
Louise & therapist Dr. Tari Mack cover some game changing advice:
- The concepts of chemistry vs. compatibility
- Why love isn’t enough
- 6 signs of toxic chemistry (trauma bonding, breadcrumbing, toxic chemistry, rollercoaster dating, inconsistency, the anxious-avoidant cycle)
- Why you can’t sustain a relationship on just chemistry
- What compatibility is
- The 12 signs of chemistry that you need to establish to really see if you are a good match.
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