You should pursue just what's natural to you and I don't think anyone who's ever become brilliant at anything said it was easy. The idea of deliberate practice which is actual genuine learning is that it's going to be chow challenging, so get used to the process. You shouldn't view your current self as the same as who you'll be in the future because they will have different preferences. It's better from a decision-making standpoint to make decisions based on your future self's preferences than your current self's preferences.

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