The Strange Survival Mode

I think it's very weird what what happens. This kind of like you said, this strange survival mode where you're talking to people laughing, smiling and then the inner use screaming. And I still have the sense of I almost think there's something quite narcissistic about it. It makes you feel very guilty of like, well, why not you? But you can't help it. You don't understand what's just happened. There must be a way out.