Embracing Relationship Evolution

This episode is a two-for-one, and that’s because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I’ve curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #355 "Greg McKeown — How to Master Essentialism" and episode #536 "Diana Chapman — How to Get Unstuck, Do “The Work,” Take Radical Responsibility, and Reduce Drama in Your Life."

Please enjoy!

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Timestamps:

[00:00] Start

[05:26] Notes about this supercombo format.

[06:28] Enter Greg McKeown.

[06:49] What is non-essential?

[07:46] Overcoming the planning fallacy.

[13:30] The problem with taking ownership of someone else’s problems.

[15:44] How to avoid committing to the unsustainable.

[21:26] Three rules.

[25:28] The personal quarterly offsite.

[33:05] Enter Diana Chapman.

[33:22] A transformative gift.

[36:56] The Drama Triangle.

[43:36] The whole-body yes (or no) and how it can serve us.

[46:06] Diana guides an experience to help pay better attention to our whole-body yes (or no).

[54:36] Observations made during the exercise and how Diana recommends using this inventory.

[1:01:39] Fostering playfulness for those who mute their desire to celebrate.

[1:08:28] Diana’s “black belt in practicing candor.”

[1:09:37] Diana’s thoughts on loving pressure and how to bring it into a relationship.

[1:13:24] Applying loving pressure to people you don’t know well.

[1:15:08] Diana’s guidance on introspection leading to perspective shifts; using Byron Katie’s “turnarounds.”

[1:17:48] Diana guides me through a turnaround.

[1:23:58] A turnaround’s purpose is to identify and embrace alternatives, not invalidate the inspected belief.

[1:29:06] The importance of introducing the somatic into the process; suggestions for difficulty with this step.

[1:31:47] The role of the witness in this process.

[1:33:54] Walking the line.

[1:35:40] Welcoming the opportunity to learn from the experience, even if it’s not preferred.

[1:37:35] Alternative tools for dysregulation in the moment.

[1:39:31] Risks Diana and her husband Matt took to keep their relationship vital; who initiated the first difficult conversation.

[1:45:11] How Diana figured out who she needed to be during this time.

[1:47:11] Navigating decision points together as a couple.

[1:49:42] Examples of commitments from The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership.

[1:53:22] The Mind Jogger app and how Diana uses it with the commitments.

[1:55:55] Assessing self-awareness in hiring interviews applied to non-job situations.

[1:57:53] Books most gifted.

[1:59:35] Parting thoughts.

*

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Past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.

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