Is There a Short Cut to Controlling Your Own Internal State?

People with anxious, preoccupied am tendencies to try to control their partner's behavior within a relationship because they feel distressed m by various things that they're their partners doing. People will grasp at trying to control their acts, even once the relationship has ended. And so i'll just use myself as an example here, right? When i ended my relationship with my ax who i had been with frelick three years, and nthat relationship was very unhappy for me. I felt like i was going to die all the time when i would see my acts, unkempt or acting out in front of other people. Like  a basic ompubliwodallie attack