Speaker 2
You know, as we're talking about this, we're talking about limits, we're talking about dangers, I wanna also try to focus on opportunities. Are there positive things here?
Speaker 1
Oh, incredibly. I think that communities of interest, especially if you have an interest that isn't shared by anyone in your immediate community, there's so many kids who felt really isolated by the things they're interested in or the things they passionately care about that find fan communities online that they connect with tremendously. I think it's very important for queer kids, especially in communities where maybe there isn't an in-person community, then the online community can be amazing. I think for kids who identify as neurodiverse as well, those communities like for kids with ADHD, autism, other diagnoses, those are incredible communities. It's tricky because I think as adults, we don't want our kids to only find that affinity online or we might be nervous about who are they connecting with or if in the case of a kid sort of self-diagnosing, that might make us kind of nervous. But it's important to recognize that when kids self-identify, for example, like to use the term coming out, they're also coming in to a community. That's a really robust community. And there may be ways of shrinking that down. Like it might be like, oh, we're in a Schitt's Creek, Discord online, and then within that, there's a girl talk Schitt's Creek and we're gonna talk all about girl issues and what it's like to grow up as a girl and tons of identity issues. But we're shrinking that universe. Like I'm not just talking to any girl, I'm talking to other girls who love this show that I also love.
Speaker 2
Right. You know, you mentioned Discord, there are so many platforms and services that we can find like minds on, right? And actually, as the web develops, what appears to be happening is that people are splintering into even smaller communities out there on the World Wide Web. How do we make sure these communities are well-tended for young people? And by that, I mean, when I went to a party when I was 14 and my mom didn't know the parents of the kid, she'd call them or call somebody who knew them and do a little bit of forward exploring. I can't do that for my kid.
Speaker 1
It's hard because there's like so much more that we can know in some ways. And yet also, our kids have these incredibly private lives because their friends call them and not the house, for example. So my parents at least knew the voices of all my friends. And although I tried to be sneaking and get calls late at night by intercepting them with a planned time to pick up the phone so it wouldn't wake up my parents. I had all these strategies to manage who I was talking to, but my parents still did know my friends in a way where I moved to a new school district with my kid when he was in seventh grade. And I wanted to know the parents, but there's no school directory. And his only way of connecting with mostly Skid was Discord, right? And so I'm not gonna get on Discord and be like, hi, you know, warpity woo cat 596. Can I say hi to your mom sometime? Like that's not gonna happen. Like that would be incredibly weird and violating like a thousand protocols and my kid would never speak to me again. But at the same time, like I did wanna meet some people's parents. And I think, you know, so let me come back to that question. I think it has to be more about our kids. It's more about swim readiness and swim lessons than de-sharking the pool. Like it's more about teaching our kids and knowing your own kids particular vulnerabilities and sensitivities, right? I think unfortunately, the social media companies basically don't care about how our kids are doing. I'll just say it that way. Like you can report bullying, you can report harassment, you can report, you know, impersonation accounts. They might get back to you, you know, if you threaten them with legal action eventually, you might hear, but like no one can keep your kids safe like you can. You wanna have the kid who tells you, hey, the sharks are circling or hey, I got in over my head today, I shared a nude and I'm regretting it and now someone's threatening to share. Like you have to be the parent that is safe to tell that to because no one else is gonna help your kid. They have to be able to talk with you because there is no way for you to go in and make it perfectly safe. Like even the fifth grade group text that's literally on the school software that's on the school learning system could become a nasty toxic cesspool. And you have to know that your kid will come to you and say, you know what, guess what, everybody's using racist memes on the school, the school learning management system or people are calling out someone and talking about their body in a totally inappropriate way. We're gonna take a quick break here.