Identifying Cultural 'Shoulds'

Why do so many women feel guilty when they rest? I sit down with Elise Loehnen—New York Times bestselling author—to unpack the deep cultural and personal reasons women over-function, over-deliver, and burn themselves out. If you've ever felt like you have to earn rest or prove your worth through constant doing, this conversation is for you.

We dive into the emotional and societal roots of rest guilt—why it feels “wrong” to slow down, even when you're exhausted. Elise shares how breaking her neck forced her to confront her own beliefs about being a “good woman” and why she realized that no one was actually demanding perfection from her… except herself.

We also explore the difference between stories and facts, and how many of us live in exhausting stories about motherhood, ambition, money, and self-worth without even realizing it. Elise teaches us how to identify those narratives, trace where they came from, and consciously choose new ones that serve you.

If you’ve struggled with performative motherhood, scarcity around money, resentment in your relationships, or comparing yourself to women online, Elise offers a compassionate, story-rich guide to healing. Her tools for turning envy into insight, fear into clarity, and busyness into boundaries are some of the most practical and powerful I’ve heard.

You’ll also hear:

• What performative labor looks like in motherhood and work—and how to stop
• How envy can reveal what you truly want
• Why women cancel themselves while men just keep going
• How to stop outsourcing your self-worth to productivity
• Why comparison, guilt, and burnout are often symptoms of deeper emotional patterns—and what to do instead

Whether you’re navigating motherhood, building a career, or simply trying to feel like you’re “enough,” this episode is a warm and honest invitation to put down the pressure and pick up rest—not as a reward, but as your right.

For more from Elise Loehnen, check out her podcast Pulling The Thread, her workbook Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness, or find her on Instagram @eliseloehnen. 

Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now! 

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The Liz Moody Podcast cover art by Zack. The Liz Moody Podcast music by Alex Ruimy.

Formerly the Healthier Together Podcast. 

This podcast and website represents the opinions of Liz Moody and her guests to the show. The content here should not be taken as medical advice. The content here is for information purposes only, and because each person is so unique, please consult your healthcare professional for any medical questions.

The Liz Moody Podcast Episode 369.

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