Ellot's research shows that the way we frame our goals can have a big impact on motivation. There are what she calls approach goals, or do s and there are avoidance goals, which are all trying to avoid a bad outcome. Are you worried about doing the wrong thing? Tet is concern about trying out something that doesn't work? Are you concerned about messing? I'm going back to datein because it anything that actually illustrate this really wer like when you think about finding some one in your life,.Are you thinking about approaching relationship? Are you thinking about avoiding being lonely?"