Communicating Carefully as a Leader

Just be yourself many career coaches tell us. But for the psychologist and entrepreneur Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic, the reverse is true. Don’t Be Yourself Chamorro-Premuzic advises in his new book, arguing that authenticity Is overrated and what to do instead. Drawing from extensive behavioral science research, Chamorro-Premuzic contends that success comes not from unleashing your unfiltered self but from understanding where “the right to be you ends and your obligation to others begins.” Authenticity has not only become a privilege for the elite and a trap for everyone else, he argues, but increasingly impossible to distinguish from AI-generated fakery. So don’t be yourself, Chamorro-Premuzic suggests, in defiantly inauthentic advice for both our careers and our lives.

1. Strategic Self-Presentation Beats Radical Honesty

Success comes from “strategic impression management” rather than authentic self-expression. The person who confidently claims “I’ve done this a hundred times” gets the job over the honest candidate who admits they’ll need to learn.

2. Authenticity Is a Luxury for the Powerful

The more status and power you have, the less you need to care what others think. For everyone else, “telling women they can just be themselves” while incompetent male leaders act without restraint perpetuates inequality.

3. Self-Delusion Can Be a Competitive Advantage

“B**********g others will be a lot easier if you can b******t yourself first.” While self-awareness helps build competence, overconfidence often wins in systems that confuse confidence with competence—though this benefits individuals at society’s expense.

4. AI Forces Us to Fake Authenticity

As AI becomes better at mimicking humans, we’re paradoxically pressured to be more deliberately “human”—inserting typos in emails, swearing strategically, creating “artificial hallmarks of authenticity” to prove we’re not machines.

5. Focus on Your Obligations to Others, Not Your Right to Self-Expression

The fundamental shift Chamorro-Premuzic advocates: stop asking “how can I be more myself?” and start asking “what do others find valuable?” Your freedom to be yourself ends where your responsibility to others begins.

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