Dr. Ramani Durvasula, one of the world’s leading experts on narcissism and narcissistic abuse, joins Forrest to help us learn how to understand, identify, and recover from relationships with narcissistic people. They start by discussing the traits associated with narcissism, the spectrum of narcissistic behaviors, and Dr. Ramani’s critiques of the NPD diagnosis. They then talk about different kinds of narcissism and why narcissists can be difficult to identify before moving on to the issues with narcissism in relationships. Dr. Ramani explains the general pattern narcissism follows, what narcissistic abuse looks like in practice, and what we can do to become more "narcissist resistant.”

About our Guest: Dr. Ramani is a clinical psychologist, professor emeritus at California State University, Los Angeles, and the author of a number of books including her most recent It’s Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People. Her work has been featured on The Today Show, CNN, and The New York Times. She also offers an online program for survivors of narcissistic abuse. 

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:30: Defining the variety of narcissistic personality styles

9:40: Narcissism as a tactic for external validation

13:00: Narcissistic supplies, personality style, and diagnosable conditions

24:45: The appeal of narcissistic traits, and their effect on specific relationships

33:25: Getting stuck in a relationship with a narcissist, and devaluation

42:45: Manipulation, gaslighting, and discerning what’s real

52:35: Becoming narcissist resistant

1:00:45: Nervous system responses

1:03:25: Covert narcissism and seeing your own traits

1:06:45: Recap

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