“I Think I’ve Outgrown My Relationship!”
Reimagining Love with Dr. Alexandra Solomon
How Personal Change Creates Relational Feedback Loops
Alexandra explains how one partner's excitement can trigger threat responses in the other, fueling disconnection.
On Reimagining Love, we've done several solo episodes where Dr. Alexandra takes a seemingly simple and straightforward statement that folks are making about relationships. Then she pulls it apart to try to find more shades of grey, to add more complexity and layering to a phrase that she finds has gotten too simplistic. In today’s episode, we are going to look at what it means when people say they've outgrown their relationship*. First, Dr. Alexandra will talk you through what she thinks people are saying when they say they've outgrown the relationship. Then she is going to look at the internal stuff - what might be going on inside of you that's shaping this feeling that you've outgrown the relationship that you're in. Then she is going to look at the relational stuff - what might be going on in the space between you and your partner that's shaping this feeling that you've outgrown the relationship. And then finally, she will talk about some strategies that you can use to bring clarity to the situation.
*This episode often uses the language of intimate partnerships but much of it can be applied to other relationships, like friendships, as well.
Other Solo RL Episodes that do a deep dive on a too-simplistic phrase:
- “I Love Them, But I’m Not In Love With Them” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/i-love-them-but-im-not-in-love-with-them/
- “Right person, wrong time” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/right-person-wrong-time/
- “If They Wanted To, They Would.” https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/if-they-wanted-to-they-would/
Resources to support the episode:
- Reimagining Love episodes, Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 1 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-1-rerelease/
- Relational Ambivalence: Should I Stay or Should I Go? Part 2 https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/relational-ambivalence-should-i-stay-or-should-i-go-part-2-rerelease/
- Inviting a Reluctant Partner Into Relationship Work https://dralexandrasolomon.com/podcasts/inviting-a-reluctant-partner-into-relationship-work-re-release/
Continue the conversation with Dr. Alexandra Solomon:
- Ask a question! Submit your relationship challenge: https://form.jotform.com/212295995939274
- Order Dr. Alexandra’s book, Love Every Day: https://bookshop.org/p/books/love-every-day-365-relational-self-awareness-practices-to-help-your-relationship-heal-grow-and-thrive-alexandra-solomon/19970421?ean=9781683736530
- Cultivate connection by subscribing to Dr. Alexandra’s newsletter: https://dralexandrasolomon.com/subscribe/
- Learn from Dr. Alexandra (E-courses: Intimate Relationships 101 or Can I Trust You Again?): https://dralexandrasolomon.com/learn-from-alexandra/
- Learn more on IG: https://www.instagram.com/dr.alexandra.solomon/
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