From a young age, weโre taught that being alone means somethingโs wrong with us ๐ โ that the person sitting by themselves is a *loner*. We absorb this belief early, and it shapes how we see othersโฆ and ourselves.
But hereโs the truth:
๐ **Loneliness isnโt a flaw โ itโs a signal.**
Itโs not *who* you are. Itโs *what* you need. ๐งญ
๐ Iโm Kasley Killam, author of *The Art and Science of Connection* and an expert in **social health** โ the often-overlooked third pillar of wellness, alongside physical ๐ and mental health ๐ง .
When we feel lonely:
- ๐คฏ We overthink social situations
- ๐ We assume people wonโt like us
- ๐ก๏ธ We enter interactions guarded
That mindset creates a loop:
๐ Negative belief โ anxious behavior โ shallow connection
But it can go the other way too:
๐ช Self-trust โ openness โ meaningful relationships ๐ค
๐งโโ๏ธ **Self-compassion meditation** can help.
Itโs about redirecting the love you give others โ toward *yourself*.
That inner safety helps you become more vulnerable, and research shows vulnerability builds **trust and emotional intimacy**. ๐
๐ Culture also plays a role:
- In *individualistic* societies, people feel lonelier ๐ถโ๐ซ๏ธ, but have more freedom to branch out ๐ฑ
- In *collectivist* cultures, loneliness clashes with expectations โ leading to poorer health outcomes โ ๏ธ
And yes, loneliness affects the body:
- ๐งฌ Raises cortisol
- ๐ฅ Increases inflammation
- ๐ก๏ธ Weakens the immune system
Want to reconnect? Try this:
โ
Help someone
โ
Volunteer
โ
Show up for others (and yourself) ๐
Your social life literally rewires your brain ๐ง โก
It shapes how you process pain, respond to stress, and experience joy ๐
๐ก **Loneliness is just one sign of poor social health.**
Whether you feel it or not โ
๐ *everyone* needs connection
๐ *everyone* should prioritize their social well-being
And it all starts with the most important connection of all:
โจ The one you have with yourself ๐
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