What Is Feeling Threatening You?

Not everything is defensive. If I'm a little more introverted, if my metronome is a little slower than the pace of other people's metronome and I want to avoid crowds, for example, we're not calling that defensive. Is this self-compassion or is this just fear? Or is this just avoidance, isolation? And another thing that has been helpful in sorting this out is like, which move feels like kindness and caring to oneself and one's relationships?