What Is a State of the Union Meeting?

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The meeting begins with each person giving three to five appreciations for things the other person has done and saying thank you. The middle of the meeting is bringing up anything that they need to solve any decisions that need to be made. Then the meeting ends with the question that each person poses to the other what is one way that I can help you feel more loved in the coming week.

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What makes for a loving relationship that lasts? For over 40 years Drs. John and Julie Gottman have devoted their life to answering this question with the research and practice of fostering healthy, long-lasting relationships. Through studying thousands of couples, publishing over 200 academic articles, more than 40 books on the topic and co-founding the Gottman’s Institute, John and Julie have created interventions to change the way that couples relate to each other to help people succeed in the future of their relationships. In the conversation, John and Julie give me a masterclass in everything there is to know about building long lasting relationships, we cover the four key reasons why relationships fail, communication strategies, rituals to cultivate deeper connection and their latest book The Seven Day Love Prescription which distills their work into a seven-day action plan for deeper intimacy. Enjoy :)

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(00:00) Intro
(02:06) Why do we need research about love and relationships?
(04:37) Research methodology for analysing couples
(06:42) What are the things that predict a relationship will be happy?
(07:52) The 4 reasons why relationships fail
(16:04) Strategies to overcome anger
(18:35) What can people do to overcome conflict in relationships
(24:30) Why logic vs emotion is a false dichotomy
(33:10) Common mistakes men make in relationships
(38:12) Your research into LGBTQ+ relationships
(40:18) The biggest difference between men and women in relationships
(43:40) Decision making in relationships
(48:01) Rituals of connection
(51:01) Relationship reviews
(56:35) What is the function of marriage?
(01:07:31) Is there an ideal age gap?
(01:10:44) Relationships therapy and pre-commitment counselling
(01:14:12) The love prescription formula
(01:26:06) Book writing

🔗 CONNECT WITH JOHN AND JULIE

📕 The Seven Day Love Prescription
📱 The Gottman Card Decks App
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📚 Download my FREE 100 Books To Live Your Best Life Reading List
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Find the show notes and the transcript on the website: https://aliabdaal.com/podcast/

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