The Psychology of Complaining

Guy Winch is a psychologist, author, and co-host of the Dear Therapist podcast. In this episode, Guy speaks to the commonality of the human condition with relatable stories from his decades of therapy sessions as well as his own experience with incessant rumination in the early days of his private practice. He shares insights on what he sees as an epidemic of rumination that leads to career burnout, the consequences of social comparison heightened by social media, and the psychological impact of not recognizing success. He emphasizes the need for a “psychological medicine cabinet” and provides concrete and practical tools for treating emotional injuries. He concludes with a discussion about the widespread impact of the coronavirus pandemic on emotional health and how we can use experienced psychologists in a time when it’s especially needed.

We discuss:

• The unique format and impetus for Guy’s podcast with Lori Gottlieb (3:00);
• How Guy pieced together the many different schools of thought in psychology to develop his own unique approach (7:45);
• The most important component of successful therapy, and why it sometimes makes sense to “break the rules” (19:30);
• Insights extracted from Guy’s own battle with extreme stress and anxiety around finishing his education and starting his private practice (28:15);
• The epidemic of rumination, burnout, and the inability to psychologically leave work (34:15);
• Antidotes to incessant rumination, and tips for transitioning from work to home to avoid burnout (41:15);
• The psychology of complaining: The hidden cost of complaining incorrectly and benefits of learning how and when to complain (52:30);
• The consequences of social comparison, and the impact of “failure” on emotional health (1:02:15);
• How Guy helps people who struggle to acknowledge any level of success (1:07:30);
• Emotional first aid: The importance of a psychological medicine cabinet for treating emotional injuries (1:19:00);
• The role of therapists in normalizing the discussion of emotional injuries and illuminating the commonality of feelings (1:27:45);
• The widespread impact of the coronavirus pandemic on emotional health (1:35:15);
• How to properly use affirmations—a tool for treating psychological injuries (1:42:00);
• The importance of nuanced language and the stories we tell ourselves (1:47:30);
• Peter’s favorite episode of the Dear Therapist Podcast (1:53:15); and
• More.

Learn more: https://peterattiamd.com/ Show notes page for this episode: https://peterattiamd.com/guywinch Subscribe to receive exclusive subscriber-only content: https://peterattiamd.com/subscribe/ Sign up to receive Peter's email newsletter: https://peterattiamd.com/newsletter/ Connect with Peter on Facebook | Twitter | Instagram.