The Tyranny of Should

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Sally Kohn: I've been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. She says we have these shoulds coming out as from the bottom to say, this is how you should be. But then there's always a tyranny of where we could be and what we could have," she says. "Even just being aware that these things are pressing on us is the first step"

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Most of us know perfectionism as the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, our fatal flaw of having a constant need to meet impossibly high standards. It's a trait that many of us strive for, believing that it will lead to success and happiness. But what if I told you that this concept of perfectionism as we know it isn’t the full picture? And the badge of honour we think perfectionists wear is one big misconception. Today I’m joined by Professor Thomas Curran, an Assistant Professor in the Department of Psychological and Behavioural Science at the London School of Economics. With over a decade of experience, Professor Curran is a world leading expert on perfectionism. He has written for the Harvard Business Review, New Scientist, The Guardian, Telegraph and Wall Street Journal. In 2018, he gave a TEDMED talk which has over 3 million views and earlier this month he published his book The Perfection Trap: The Power of Good Enough in a world that always wants more’. In the conversation we talk about the paradoxical effects of perfectionism, how our perfectionistic traits stem from a cultural obsession rather than a personal flaw and shows what we can do as individuals to resist the modern-day pressure to be perfect - and how we can create a culture that celebrates the joys of imperfection.

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