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Why Ted Cruz S*cks: A Comprehensive Biography

Behind the Bastards

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The Constitutional Corrober Raiders

Ted Cruz was picked to be a member of the constitutional carobber raiders. There were groups of five students who attended stories after school programs and trained to be able to write out the entire Constitution from memory. They also read out a definition of socialism when they presented this, which was portrayed as being a direct opposition to the Constitution. Now just judging by that name, what do you all think the constitutional corroborators might have been? Any guesses? Corroborating the Constitution. Cool kids. Some sort of judicial watch. That would actually be cooler.

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