S5, Ep 1 Best Friend Therapy: Co-dependency - What makes a relationship unhealthy? How can we change old patterns? Where do we start?
Dial Emma
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How to Self Validate in a Relationship
I think the root of codependency is that you validate the other person. So learn how to self validate and also create a space or offer permission or model self validation to your partner because it's in their interest too. In the example you gave, actually whilst it was convenient at the time for you to meet all of his needs, it wasn't therapeutically helpful. It wasn't helping that person grow. And I'm very grateful to that relationship because I did go and do some very serious work on myself after that in search of what you now very accurately describe as self validation. But there are lots of people out there who haven’t done the work for whatever reason.
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