Marriage Reveals the Limits of Performance

In this episode, I sit down with my lovely wife Lauren to explore her story. She shares about growing up as a “good girl,” always chasing approval, achievement, and the A+. But beneath that pursuit was a deeper struggle: the fear of being weak, broken, or not enough. We talk about how that mindset shaped our marriage, her ministry, and her identity—and the powerful moment when she finally laid it all down at Recovery. This conversation is filled with the kind of grace that sets people free. If you’ve ever struggled with perfectionism, people-pleasing, or performance-driven faith, I believe this episode will offer truth and healing to where you are.

In This Episode

• Childhood roots of perfectionism and people-pleasing
• How "being good" can become a way to avoid needing God
• Marriage as the first wake-up call to grace
• Hitting the idol of achievement in music ministry
• The surrender chip moment: Letting go of control
• Embracing powerlessness and understanding grace
• How fixed mindset stifled creativity and risk-taking
• Moving toward a growth mindset in songwriting
• Learning to say “no” and disappoint people with peace
• Parenting and people-pleasing under the spotlight
• Shame, criticism, and trusting God with your reputation
• Remaining vigilant: How perfectionism tries to sneak back in
• Final encouragement for those stuck in performance

Resources 

• Beth Moore's Bible Study: Believing God
• TVC Recovery Ministry
• Follow Lauren

FOLLOW and SUBSCRIBE:

Instagram | Youtube | Website | Newsletter

If you’ve enjoyed this episode, one of the best ways to support the show and make sure others find it, is to subscribe and leave a review. Thank You!

Thank you to our Sponsors

Qava.tv

QAVA is a Christian streaming platform that helps you understand the Bible and live out your faith with confidence. Think of it as digital discipleship in your pocket. Visit qava.tv/theovercomers and use code OVERCOME50 for 50% off your first 6 months. That’s only $4.99 a month!

Overcoming the Darkness by Nate Pickowicz

This book offers biblical wisdom and the stories of faithful saints to help you see God’s faithfulness in the darkest seasons. Grab Overcoming the Darkness today at MoodyPublishers.com or wherever good books are sold.

On Our Way Home by Colleen Chao

Through Scripture and her own journey of suffering, Colleen Chao reminds us that all our longings point to the joy of our true Home with Christ. Get your copy of On Our Way Home at MoodyPublishers.com or wherever good books are sold.

–

Editing and support by The Good Podcast Co. 

For sponsorship inquiries, email sponsor@thegoodpodcast.co