For a long time, I got complimented frequently for all of these traits and absolutely none of them were related to how I looked or how I moved through the world. And that for me was a real whole that took some time to get filled. So first off, validate legitimate mistrust. Sometimes that little bells starts ringing and we don't listen to it, but we actually really should. In other words, join with your own defenses, validate your own capacity to be like, I don't know, the turtle or some sea creature that can withdraw inside your bulletproof shell.

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