In this episode, therapist and former Broadway performer Brian Spitulnik joins Dustin to explore the intersections of shame, identity, and healing within the gay and broader queer community. Together, they unpack themes like internalized homophobia, social hierarchies among gay men, and the emotional toll of self-sabotage and rejection.
Brian opens up about his personal transformation, from life on the stage to becoming a clinician, and how embracing authenticity and vulnerability changed his path. The conversation delves into how race, body image, and trauma show up in therapy spaces, as well as the unique challenges queer people face in finding belonging and self-acceptance.
Whether you're a therapist, LGBTQ+ person, or ally, this episode offers a compassionate, insightful look into the emotional and relational landscape of queer identity, and how therapy can support deeper connection and growth.
Connect with Brian Spitulnik
TikTok: @spitulnik
Instagram: @spitulnik
Website: www.brianspitulnik.com/
Connect with boy meets therapy:
Instagram: @boymeetstherapy
TikTok: @boymeetstherapy
Website with Free Resources: boymeetstherapy.com
Episode Guide & Chapters
00:00 Introduction and Identity Exploration
03:04 Understanding Shame in Gay Men
06:02 Self-Sabotage in Relationships
09:01 Social Hierarchy in Gay Culture
12:11 The Role of Therapy in Building Connections
14:52 Personal Journey and Professional Focus
17:54 Authenticity and Defense Mechanisms
29:28 The Journey to Authenticity
30:46 Vulnerability and Connection
33:14 The Weight of Shame
35:41 Navigating Identity in Different Environments
39:36 Coming Out and Acceptance
41:36 Rejection in the Queer Community
43:38 Therapeutic Dynamics and Race
48:47 The Complexity of Conversations
51:52 Lessons from Tragedy
Created and Produced by Dustin Oliver
